Aspin's Essentials: How to be Cooler than a Siberian Sunbather when it comes to Twitter Lists (or Anything Else!).
Picture credit: Lauri Vain "Ice Hole Swimming"
Do you want to be a low value Twitter user?
Then keep chasing your tail trying to keep up with other not-so-smart people: constantly focusing on increasing follower counts and how many lists you're on. Because you know what?
None of that stuff really matters!
Those kinds of measurements, taken on their own, are not the point.
The point is, in my opinion: it's who we are and what we are doing that matters.
Picture credit: Kellan
So here's a list of thoughts toward reallygood thinking, that'll help us avoid the "ingredients of FAIL" and get those lists in perspective:
1) Twitter lists are random.
2) If you are on one list and feel great about it, you'll soon find you've not been included in another and might not feel so good!
3) Lists may be useful, but I suspect some will simply use them as yet another status, or lack of status, metric.
This attitude is a sure fire way to reinforce what contemporary philosopher Alain de Botton calls "status anxiety": just another thing to use to compare ourselves with others and check where we feel we come in our perceived rankings.
4) To be included, or not to be included, is important, or not important, depending on who is doing the including, or the not including, whichever we choose, depending on the perspective we choose (negative or positive).
5) So much stuff that affects our lives is random, accidental, flawed.
Get over it!
Let's be grateful (at least most of us reading this) we were not born on a rubbish dump in some sh** hole with no one to feed us, care for us, or help us grow up and have a decent life.
Being as cool as a Siberian sunbather is partly about getting things into proper perspective.
Here's a list of thoughts toward reallygood thinking, that'll help us move beyond caring about what lists we are on, or not on:
1) It's not about you (or me). It's about "we". So think-with!
Generally, if we focus, not on Twitter lists, but on serving others, helping, creating value, then we are going to win. As self-help chap Zig Ziglar says “You can get everything you want in life if you will just help enough other people to get what they want”. So, let's try to be a bit less selfish. This might help.
2) If we build lives based on our inner values, a sense of meaning and purpose, we won't be pushed around so much.
To be truly successful, our sense of meaning and purpose must be far bigger than our capacity, or need, for external approval, and we must try to keep it that way.
3) Lists (approval) might make us subjectively happy for a moment, but there's a much greater experience, and it comes through finding, and serving, something much bigger than ourselves.
Dr. Martin Seligman, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania and a founder of the "positive psychology" movement describes the ultimate state of human happiness as "knowing your highest strengths and deploying them in the service of something larger than you are".
4) Surprising things, people, resources can appear and help us get where we want to go, even if the people we think we need most don't know us or care about us!
Don't you know, with all this digital connectedness, we can take or leave their list, or anyone else's, and instead, focus on helping people around us. Sooner, if not later, someone will see that and do something good for us.
5) Let's build our own lists.
Let's build great lists of positive stuff that'll keep us on track even when the external signs suggests we're having a tough time.
A few ideas our own lists could include:
* Outline a picture of the direction you want your life to take. Note what gives you a sense of meaning and purpose.
* Great qualities you naturally have that'll help you on your way. You are kind, caring, a good people person, etc.
* Someone, somewhere, cares about you, no matter what. Make a list of those who care.
* List people you really care about.
* You've beaten the crap out of problems in the past, you can do it again. Make a list of your wins and how it felt.
* Think of things that have worked well for you, given you strength, made you grow. Write them down.
* Write down the names of those who make the biggest contribution to your life right now. Say thanks in some way and let them know you appreciate them.
* Ignore the small, irritating stuff, and focus on creating lists around the big stuff that matters (or the small stuff that matters).
I promise you, if we put this Twitter list thing into proper perspective, we really will stay cooler than a Siberian sunbather, and we might even be happier too.
See you in the comments here at the bottom.
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